I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
