he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
