i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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