Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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