I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just found puke in my bra..
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
