i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
