Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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