I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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