pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize