How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
