yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
