Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
