No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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