just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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