I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
