I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
