sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
