i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
