i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
