i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
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I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
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I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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