I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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