so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
