Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize