he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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