yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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