i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
