I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
