I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he shaved USA in his pubs
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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