My boss' voice literally gives me gas
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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