I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
