Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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