I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
a search helicopter?!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm both gender and math confused
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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