I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
