yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
