just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
