yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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