Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
