It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You are the jesus of drinking
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
