I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
