you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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