ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
