The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
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Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
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It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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