I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
