I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
