I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
