i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
