Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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