well I can't set my house on fire every night
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
