Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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