I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
