Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
