Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
