They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize