I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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