sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize