I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
