I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
