Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
