woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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