I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
