How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
