I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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