I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
A bitchslap is in order.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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